coconuts

In Hawaii they have coconut farmers, like they have strawberry farmers in Watsonville. They have guys climb up the coconut trees with machetes to cut down the coconuts and the trees are 50 to 80 feet high. They do this with out harnesses, with out a net and with out shoes, bare foot climbers going from tree to tree with a big knife it’s amazing. That guy climbing the trees drops the coconut to a guy that catches it and puts it in a basket. You can’t just throw them down cause they might bruise or break from the long fall and hard surface land on a rock or on the head of Samoan guy eating pooie. So there's guy that catches the coconuts and he has a very important role, not to let the coconut break. The boss of the company made them all t-shirts to emphasize this point, it says don’t bust a nut at work. One of the guys that catch the coconuts who wasn't very good at his job wears a shirt that says watch me bust a nut at work. Ironically he works right next to the girl selling cantaloupe and her t-shirt says ripe juicy melons.

Best and Worst "Strip Club Songs" and Other Crap

Yes loyal readers.. or reader.. Blog Boy is back with another entry with titillating stories, worthless advice and bad grammar. Last I blogged I mentioned that I was going to dedicate another entry to the establishment that nestles deep in the bosom of the American heart land, the strip club. A moment of silence please as we pay homage.

Ok enough silence. Let’s talk about music. Music at strip clubs. I promised you the best and the worst of strip club songs and here they are.

The key to a good stripper song is it has to be narrative, the song tells the stripier what to do, so you don’t have to and should be sung by artists that you know spend a lot of time at strip clubs and might have even written the song while getting a lap dance.
5. Get Naked by Methods of Mayhem (a underground hit that is very strip club worthy)

4. Shake Ass for Me by Eminem (it should be the national striper anthem, bow your head and put one hand on the left but cheek of the striper in front of you)

3. Do Me Baby by Bell Biv Devo (“slap it flip rub it down oh no”.. need I say more)

2. You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC (lyrically the best strip club song ever written, pay homage, give respect, try not to cry, out of your third eye)

1. Girls Girls Girls by Motley Crue (a song actually written to pay tribute to strip clubs. But what actually puts it ahead of these other very worthy songs is the band members, well not actually the members but the band members ex wives.. which include: Pamela Anderson, Elaine Irwin, Heather Locklear, Brandy Brandt, Heidi Mark and Donna D'Errico, ah yes great 80’s hair band, great looking women and enough stds to infect a small country).

Ok now the 5 worst strip club songs of all time.
5. It’s Raining Men by the Weather Girls (if you hear this song at a strip club.. your at the wrong strip club)

4. Dude Looks Like a Lady by Arrowsmith (not a fun game to play at a strip club, which dancer has the biggest adams apple, that is called the crying game)

3. Laughy Taffy by D4L (catchy tune bad image)

2. We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off to Have a Good Time by Jermaine Stewart (oh yes we do, everything is more fun naked except for cooking baccon)

1. Can You Smell That Smell by Lynard Skynard (It should be like a meat market not a fish market)


Best strip club names: The Naughty Kitty, The Landing Strip (Right by the Airport),

Those are real here’s some Ideas for strip club names tell me what you think: The Beaver Damn, Strippers R Us, The International House of Stripers (stripers come with three different kinds of syrup) Boner’s Bistro

Bad names for strip clubs: The Crab Shack and The Canker Sore

Good striper names Pepsi, Boo Boo Kitty, Viagra, Areola and Chi Chi Rodrigues

Bad striper names: Peptol, Chlamydia, Anchovy, Halitosis, The Nutcracker

Well my blog time is up for now. Hope you enjoyed this homage to strip clubs. Tune in next time when I’ll tell you 10 things not to do with a pickle.

Never take a date to a strip club

Hello today is the first day of my blog. In my blog I will be giving observations, opinions and have some fun and games a long the way. Though I do not mean to offend some of my observations and life experiences and what I call fun and games seem to offend those easily offended, to those people I apologize. Now this may and this may not be the blog for you. So you’ve now that you’ve been warned hope you like my blog if not kiss my blogity blog blog.

So let’s begin. Ever been to a strip club? If so how many times? I haven’t been to many strip clubs, in fact I can count on my hand how many times I’ve actually been to a strip club, yeah if my hand had 103 fingers.. Don’t I wish. But no really it’s been 6 times and one go go bar and they call it go go for a reason, cause when you walk in and see the dancers you turn to your friend, he asked should we stay and you say to him go go and push him out the door, but that’s another story for another time.

Ok advice time: if you’re with a girl and your just starting off a relationship with her or its maybe the beginnings of starting one even if she asked don’t take her to a strip club. It sounds fun some girls like do something you like together but it’s not that fun. For one it’s hard to keep your attention on your date. It’s like being with your girl at a sports bar, the game is on and your sitting across from the TV and she talks to you and your eyes drift to the TV it’s like that but the TVs are dancing around, bouncing back and forth and sometimes upside down on a pole… literally the boob tube. Usually if the strippers are hot it’s a good thing but if you bring a girl (and most girls have their own body issues), she may voice her insecurities. The only way to make her feel good if the strippers aren’t that hot, then she thinks “I’m hotter then these girls I could be a stripper” but seriously if the girl your with is better looking then the strippers why are you at that strip club? What if she likes the strip club a little too much. I mean in theory it’s hot to see a girl into a girl but when it’s your girl do you really need the competition. You could easily be George or Ross in an episode of Seinfeld or Friends. So those are my reasons why you should not bring a girl to a strip club. Feel better now? I do, I feel so good I’m dedicating at least two more blogets to strip clubs.. what are strip clubs like in Mexico and what is best strip club songs and the worst. Oh and a little snippet of my weekend with a dead bird. No I didn’t hit it with my car this time. I’ll tell you all about it later. Till then stay in touch and out of trouble.